Ahh, the modern era – home to many wonders of technology and culture. And what could be more wondrous than when a fair maiden receives a photo of a gentleman’s unconcealed pelvic area, right in her inbox.
… so to speak.
It’s a fascinating phenomenon. It leaves folks scratching their skulls, wondering what is wrong with these men. Why would they think that sending unasked for photos of their junk would work? Has it ever?
The common explanation is it’s a Failure of Sentience. These men, so the explanation goes, would love to receive an unsolicited pelvic portrait from a woman. So they mistakenly think that women would want the same, failing to put themselves in their shoes.
I’ve been banging on about Failures of Sentience a lot.
But, believe it or otherwise, that’s not what’s happening here. That explanation sounds reasonable but it’s generally not the case.
I’m going to depart from the theme of the week and say it isn’t about a failure to recognise that others think differently from you.
Here’s what’s really going on:
An awful chef figures that since a pinch of salt makes a meal delicious, then a bucket of salt must be even better.
Likewise, plenty of men know that a bit of boldness is attractive, so they go the whole hog.
… again, so to speak.
They don’t think women sit around hoping for unsolicited pelvic portraits. They do think it’ll shock and impress the women into sinful thoughts of desire, though.
Having said that, this specific behaviour might not be caused by Failures of Sentience, but I bet cash to croissants that they suffer from it elsewhere.
It takes a lot of character and wisdom to avoid Failures of Sentience – more than it takes to avoid sending junk snaps to strangers.
Seeing dumb manure is like cutting into a lasange. Below the surface, you know there are more layers bubbling away.
That’s why I recommend Your Story Isn’t About You as a general remedy to bad decisions. It gets at the root cause of a lot of them.
And you can’t fault the price.
So be sure to read, reread and apply it: