Men need respect the way women need affection and attention. Without it, we can get a little loopy.
I’m not sure how well women understand this. “My boyfriend plays video games all the time!” Yeah, because being a protagonist or part of a team is a great way to feel respected. “My husband spends all day at the office!” If his colleagues respect him more than you do, that’s why.
Men already gravitate towards places of respect. That’s why, as a nerd, I don’t engage with sports much. I can’t impress anyone with my prowess or knowledge. But talk to me about psychology, fiction or gaming, and suddenly I can earn a little admiration.
The dark side of this is why it’s so easy for young men to join gangs. There’s no mystery if their teachers, peers and family treat them as invisible at best and a burden at worst.
But, if you’re wise enough to seek respect from respectable people, then this is healthy behaviour. It’s how we’ve built civilisations – folks coming together to kick arse and achieve glory.
There’s an even healthier approach than that.
See, anything you only get from external sources is a vulnerable point in your psyche.
If all your respect comes from your colleagues, then you’re at the mercy of them. They could easily rope you into illegal activity through little more than a raised eyebrow. Getting fired would break you.
There’s no strength in that.
That’s why it pays to diversify, drawing respect from friends, family, customers, colleagues, your church, your community…
It pays even more to draw respect from yourself.
If you’re locked in solitary or the world spits at the sound of your name, at least you’ll know you can endure on your own.
And if your friends get into some shady manure, you can respect yourself to rise about it.
There’s something incredible and irresistible about a man who genuinely respects himself. That’s nothing to do with ego – you can still admire someone while seeing their flaws.
It’s about having a healthy psyche – one that wants others to respect them but doesn’t need it.
How do you cultivate this?
You find anything inside your mind by going inside.
That’s why Mane Meditations focus on masculine virtue. All the best parts of you reside in your mind, waiting for you to connect with and explore them.
Each live, virtual, 45-minute session explores a unique aspect of masculine virtue. These accumulate, building on each other until you find yourself with a humble but gracious manly power.
I’m not the blokiest bloke out there, but I’m building this too.
So if that sounds worthy of your time, then sign up below.
The best part?
You can pay whatever you want – and a one-off donation lets you come to as many meditations as you want during September.
Here’s the link: