I recently caught a TikTok of a woman, furious, storming down the street having just ended a date with a man.
Her completely valid and not neurotic complaint?
He said she had taught him so much during the date.
(Did he really? If true, doesn’t that mean she spent the date lecturing him? Oh I’m not asking for any reason, just curious.)
Anyway, she spends about ten seconds ranting about how women aren’t teachers and they’re not here to teach men how to be good men, and then it ends.
I was watching a reaction video. The reactor was really confused. Why was this a problem? Don’t women want men to listen to them? If not, why have they demanded that for the last few decades?
I posted this comment on the reaction video:
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I’m not confused.
Oh, I have no idea what she means, but I get why she’s saying that:
She’s solipsistic. She literally doesn’t understand that people exist independently of her. The clues are there if you know how to spot them – and men, I recommend you get good at spotting them:
(a) She thinks her emotions match reality. “I’m angry about something he did, therefore he did something wrong!” A wise person would pause and ask themselves why this makes them angry, if it’s reasonable and if it’s their own issues. She doesn’t – it’s her anger, so it must be true.
(b) She’s mad about having to explain things to men? In other words, she expects guys to already know what she knows and know what she wants. Even on a first date.
(c) She expects a fully perfected man to be interested in her. Is she a fully perfect woman? Who cares – she likely feels she deserves that so she does.
(d) She provides no context. Why would she? She already knows what happened, so everyone else understands too.
Any one of these clues is strong evidence for her being solipsistic. The fact that she crammed four into such a short video is alarming.
If you dated her, she’d struggle to see your perspective on things. In fact, she’d likely be confused about why she should. Everything would be about her. Don’t date her, don’t hire her, don’t even talk to her – there’s nothing to be gained and a lot to lose. Treat her as you’d treat an insane child.
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Now, I’m out of line here. You can’t diagnose other people with solipsism. That requires thinking you know what they think, which is a form of solipsism anyway.
But four clues in ten seconds?
That’s strong evidence.
Want to know how to spot these clues in yourself and others?
Read, reread an apply Your Story Isn’t About You: