Consider two genies, if you will:
The first grants you the following wish. Let’s assume you’re a keen foodie with a taste for the finer things. This genie grants you a boon where, at random times during your life, you’ll be whisked away to the finest of fine restaurants. Time is no barrier here – you might find yourself dining in Manhattan, Ancient Rome or Jovian Orbit. The only guarantee is that the food is absurdly delicious, interesting and satisfying.
These are the best restaurants in history.
And as part of the boon, you never have to pay the bill.
But you don’t order from the menu. The genie does that for you, choosing dishes they think you’ll like.
Even a randomly chosen dish will be sublime.
Also, you don’t get to choose who you dine with. Maybe you’ll eat with randomly chosen people who speak your language. Maybe you’ll eat alone. You don’t know and it’s not up to you.
Now consider the second genie:
Once a month, you can choose to teleport along with up to six people of your choosing to a restaurant. The restaurant you pick has to exist in the present moment and can’t be better than four stars out of five. You don’t have to pay anything, and you and your guests can order whatever you want. When you decide you’re done, you all return to your lives.
The first genie provides you with better dining experiences.
But unless you’re obsessed with Michelin stars, you’d probably pick the second genie. Yeah, the food isn’t as Good, but at least you’re in control.
Never underestimate control. It has a sweetness all of its own.
Now, forget genies and consider religion for a moment. The common theological question is:
“What happens after you die?”
A less common one:
“What happens before you’re born?”
Now that’s a question for you.
And it’s not one that every religion answers. Christianity implies a few things, but it doesn’t rule anything out. Maybe you choose your assignment on earth while you’re floating around in Heaven.
But life sure doesn’t feel that way.
We’re thrust into existence without warning or preparation. Some of the biggest impacts on your life are where, when and to whom you’re born. You choose none of these things. You can’t change them.
Only a weird theology says you can choose your birth. Even if you believe in reincarnation, you – statistically speaking – believe it’s not a choice.
You never asked to be born at all, let alone how.
This fact alone has profound and resonating implications for your life.
Life is a gift – I Truly believe that. It’s far, far, far better than the alternative.
But that doesn’t mean it’s all peaches and cream.
Throughout human history, most (all?) of us have been born into weird, painful and absurd situations.
Like the first genie from the story above, the lack of control undermines things a bit. You’d much rather choose your life before you’re born, even if you’re limited to only average lives.
Choice matters.
Folks deprived of choice – prisoners, the terminally ill, victims of narcissists – either become spiritual fortresses or crumble into insanity.
You didn’t choose your birth, so which of those two are you?
And which of those two are the folks around you?
Be gracious. Of course we’re all suffering. Let’s be real, Creation is a harsh mistress. We’re thrown into it as helpless babies, lacking all the resources we need to cope with pain, disappointment and uncertainty.
Depending on how we grow up, we might never get those skills.
That certainly explains some of the rougher folks you meet. Everyone hurts and everyone struggles to cope with that in their own way.
Who are you to judge if someone is a bit rough around the edges? Yeah, they have responsibility for their own choices and attitude, but the involuntary nature of life makes us all awkward.
We’re thrown into it, head first, before we even have the neck strength to sit up.
This explains a lot of your own failures and unkindness.
It doesn’t excuse it though. Now you know about this about yourself, you can hold yourself to a higher standard.
Sure, it ain’t easy, but –
But what?
What could possibly end that sentence so that you’re okay to keep being a cruel lunatic?
Naw. It’s time you sorted your manure out and started treating people better, including yourself.
No more neuroticism.
Much more kindness, understanding and wisdom.
You know what’ll help with that?
Learning to be more virtuous, like so: