Once upon a time, you were a wee lad.
You were tiny. Delicate. Unrefined and overflowing with potential.
Youth oozed from your pores like baby food from a tube.
You were bad at relationships. Oh, sure, folks liked you, but that was just because you were cute. If you wanted to persuade someone to do something for you, you only had a few options: asking for it and screaming for it.
It rarely occurred to you that you could do things for others.
You were also bad at regulating your own mental state. If you were even a little tired, the tiniest thing could set off a meltdown that registered on the Richter scale. You would collapse to the floor even in public, screaming, pounding the ground with your fists, tears pouring down your face.
Now?
It would take a lot to push you to that point, if anything could.
All of this is obvious. You know all this already.
But you might not follow the thought to its conclusion.
You used to be bad at relationships, but now you’re better at them. You’re better able to predict how specific folks will act. You know what others like, even if you don’t like those things too.
And you used to be bad at self-control, but now you’re much better.
As a toddler, you knew – on some level, at least – that you could grow smarter, more mentally flexible and more powerful.
So many adults, though, don’t know this about themselves.
“Oh, I’m just bad with people. I’m such an autist! Oh, I suck at controlling myself. I just have zero willpower!”
Doubtful.
But even if True, you can change that.
Those are just skills. If you’re doing things badly, it’s because you haven’t practised or you have a poor way of doing them. Practising a better approach will change all of that.
Don’t assume your brain has solidified in place, unable to evolve for the better.
Even people who adamantly believe that change – they grow more inflexible with each year.
Sad but True.
What’s also True:
I mentioned that practising the right things can improve your relationships and resilience.
You might wonder what the right things means.
Wonder away.
It’s why I wrote this: