“People don’t change” is an absurdity. Of course they do. Humans can’t not change.
Even the most inflexible person you know continues to grow more stubborn. You see this in their face, their body – the firmness of their brow, the tightness of their grip, the hardness of their eyes.
But people like to share this faux-wisdom for two reasons:
One, it’s a useful reminder that if someone breaks your trust, you should be wary of trusting them again. They might learn their lesson and become trustworthy. That’s unlikely – enough that it pays to assume they won’t.
Two, change seems hard.
You promise to be more ethical and disciplined, but nothing happens. You might even know that you must change, only for everything to stay the same.
Obviously.
Of course talking to yourself rarely leads to change, for the same reason it’s hard to build a house out of spoons. It’s the wrong tool for the job.
During my recent trip to Mt Shasta, where I provided hypnosis services to seminar attendees, people wanted to change. Many approached me with specific requests.
If I told them to simply make the change, that wouldn’t have done much. They already knew what they wanted to be different. Echoing that information back would do little.
Even so, most folks got the change they want. I can’t share what those changes are – that wouldn’t be ethical, even without me naming names. But imagine someone has a way of seeing the world, of operating by default. And this habit only hardens their heart and gets in the way of their relationships.
Now imagine that softening – not because they want it to, but because of enlightened influence.
Because change doesn’t come from information. We’re drowning in data and we’re worse off for it. Knowing what to do isn’t the same as doing it.
Information is irrelevant. Influence is everything.
When someone is influenced to change, they tend to change quickly, immediately and permanently – or, at least, so long as the change serves them. Influence works where information fizzles out.
These people changed because they were ready to – because they genuinely wanted to. But if that was all it took, they didn’t need me.
No, I played my role.
I told them what they told me they wanted, but not at the level of information.
That’s how change works and why talk therapy doesn’t. The last thing you need is more information.
What you need is to change.
I wonder what’s on the top of your list – the thing you want to change the most.
I don’t have to wonder for long. Bring it to me and let’s do something about it.
In 1 Big Win, you get exactly that – a clear plan for achieving some awesome victory. But the plan won’t just be yet more information. It’ll be someone you become – a new source of influence in your mind, with the plan there as your proof that you’re advancing.
If that sounds interesting, sign up here: