Are you pulling back from a hopeless situation, freeing you up to focus your resources elsewhere?
Or are you giving up, taking the cowardly way out?
On of Aesop’s fables is about a fox trying to reach some grapes on a high vine. When he can’t get to them, he pouts and saunters off, saying he never wanted the grapes in the first place because they’re sour.
Do you feel like that towards dating right now? You delete the dating apps from your phone and you stop approaching women in bars – is that because it’s the smart move?
Or are you imitating the fox here, trying to reach a wife, failing, then pretending you didn’t want her anyway?
Answering this honestly is essential. After all, if you find dating too hard right now, how hard will it be after a few years of ageing and wallowing in your own sour grapes?
Here’s how you can tell:
If you think about dating and feel calm, indifferent or optimistic, then you might be okay.
If you feel angry, sad, exhausted, pessimistic, bored, scared, desperate or overwhelmed, then you definitely aren’t.
In that case, you need to read No Hopeless Men. The exercises are quick and simple – call it ten minutes a day – but will help you release and overcome your sour grapes.
Whether you keep dating or embrace your solitude, you won’t enjoy it until you’re okay with it.
So sweeten up your wine and get it here: